I ask all of you with a boyfriend or girlfriend…

whats it like?

It just kills me inside simply because i'm fucking curious. Why don't i do something about it? A couple of issues i've got i'm going to get into right this minute, i don' think.

Sometimes I just lay there, in the dark with my eyes closed. ( yes..i’m fucked…bite me) I try to imagine what it would be like to have a guy sitting there next to you. its quiet and you can hear his every breath…every heart beat the soft rustle of his eyelashes as he blinks. I try to imagine the way my fingers would move around his body. his gorgeous body... that gorgeous body  different from mine. I try to imagine what it would feel like when I have my hand resting on his chest feeling him inhale and exhale, his chest rises as he breathes and falls as he lets it out.I try to imagine feeling his steamy breath moistening the side of my face and neck. I try to imagine what it would be like just to have someone there. someone that would touch you. someone that would move his fingers around my body. have him rest his hand on my chest..feel me inhale…feel me exhale. feel my breath on his neck. feel me touch him.

(..and thats enough about that...)

someday I’ll lose all hope. someday I’ll be isolated forever. someday I’ll forget it all.

 my day will come…i think....won't it?